A Random Pattern

Ok, so no posts for all of January?  What gives?!

Well, let’s just say I was … occupied.  Which is a nice way of saying that I slept little, saw my wife and kids less, and am generally nearing exhaustion.  Januaries seem to have a way of doing that, at least in my occupation, so you would think I would learn to expect it.  Anyway, a number of unusual circumstances led to last month being more brutal than normal.  This month will be (slightly) better, but hopefully after that things will return to whatever normal is.

So when can you expect more of my pithiness, and what particular aspects of pith can you anticipate?  Ah, good question.  Unfortunately, no good answer.  Could be tomorrow, could be March.  Could be Jars of Clay, could be WordPress, could be Whistler, could be just about anything related to anything I’m interested in.

So what’s the good news?  Well, the good news is I’m going to stop asking all these dumb questions just so I can answer them for you.  The other good news is that I’ve got lots of interesting thoughts and articles in the wing, once I get back in the groove of publishing them.  Plenty of technology and philosophy coming up . . . sometime.

Leave your thoughts, questions, and most desired articles.  And yes, Christmas Letter: Part 3 will be one of my first posts, for those of you wondering. 

Hi!

So . .. yeah.  Kind of overdue for an update around here.  This is just a quick note to let you know that I haven’t disappeared or been eaten by a giant purple monster or anything like that.  Updates are coming . . . sometime.  It’s holiday season, though, so don’t expect a return to daily updates for a while. 

Quick weblink of the day: new dream vacation location (here’s a video from Plitvicka Jezera National Park in Croatia) – and yes, I would like that print for Christmas!

Swim in the sea. drink of the deep.
Embrace the mystery of all you can be.

The story behind those words is poignant, but the poetry speaks for itself. (Warning: the hyperlinks are to emotionally-stirring content. Guard your heart and mind before following them.)
I long to someday write such powerful poetry. Even more, I hope to live such powerful poetry.

written in memory and hope, for all those lost, loved, and missed

My wife hit her dad’s truck coming out of our driveway today. Well, not exactly “hit”, more “scraped”. Not a big deal, but she was a little upset. After we made sure everything was alright, she headed back out to take the girls to a fall festival, while Dad and I did some work on the loft (pictures coming soon).

As they were driving, Sara explained to Tessa that she had a car accident, and that she felt bad about it because she made a mistake. (Can you tell we’re trying to teach Tessa some life lessons? ) She explained carefully that this wasn’t the same as the potty accidents that Tessa has sometimes. Tessa thought about this for a minute, and then interpreted it as only a four-year-old can:

“Mommy went poopie on Papa’s truck!”

Mommy couldn’t keep a straight face after this, and laughed so hard that soon Tessa and Selah were also laughing along.  Tessa was quite proud of herself for making mommy laugh.

Tessa wasn’t done yet, though. Since Sara had also explained that she had “been bad” and was “in trouble”, Tessa again coordinated this with her experience:

“Daddy spank Mommy!”

Err, no. I can only imagine how much fun Sara had trying to straighten those things out for Tessa.

Tessa checked it out – she approves.

Here’s a nice clean view, hopefully we can keep our living room something like this for a while.

So we finally got furniture in our living room.  We’ve been spending the last week enjoying every opportunity we find to lounge on our new seats. 

I went camping with a group of guys from our church last weekend. It was great, but exhausting.

Saturday morning I jumped in the lake for a swim. None of the guys thought I would actually do it. Several of them couldn’t understand why I would do such a thing. It doesn’t seem that odd to me, but I guess I am a little … different.

Now to the point of the story: the entire time I was in the water, I was locked in a mental struggle. Some powerful part of my brain alternately yelled, threatened, cajoled, and pleaded with me to turn around and get back on solid ground. The reason? Well, I might be attacked by sharks!

I can hear you now – “but sharks don’t live in lakes”, you say. Ahh, yes, but this thought did not occur to me until a few hours after I was done with my swim. Strange, no? Either way, when I was swimming sharks were not my only fear. The fear was deeper, more primordial, than that. At times I wondered if giant snapping turtles would attack my legs, or some other “unknown” animal would pull me under.

The fear was strong enough that several times I ceased my freestyle stroke and actually turned back to shore. Never mind the fact that there was another shore not that far in front of me – no, that “flight” instinct actually caused me to physically, unwillingly turn around. I even started back to shore a few times.

At times I switched from freestyle to breast stroke, since freestyle screamed “too much thrashing! You’ll attract their attention!” I can’t say I ever conquered the fear. I grew tired rapidly, and the shore looked further away. I decided to turn around and get back to land. Funny how it seems so hard to get away from the shore, until you decide you want to go back.

This took a toll on me physically. I was already not in great shape. In fact the reason I was out there was to start my swim training for a half-triathlon. Somehow fighting that mental fear actually sapped my strength. This only served to strengthen the fear, as I knew I only had enough energy to make it back to shore, and was sucking wind. “If something pulls you under, you’ve got no chance of surviving” my fear warned me.

Surely by now you’re wondering, “why did you go swimming if you have this strong fear?”  Good question.  :)  Would it help if I say I’ve had this fear for as long as I can remember?  In fact, when I’m swimming in a pool I often face this same fear.

Would it make more sense if I say that I love swimming?  No?  :P  How about this: I love swimming under water, much more than on the surface – and preferably with my eyes open.  Yes, even in pools.

So, why do I subject myself to this fight with such an irrational fear?  I don’t know the exact answer.  I do know that I’m afraid of heights, and insist on climbing up high whenever I have the chance.  I’m also afraid of the dark, though strangely not as much as I used to be.  Sometimes when it gets strong, I go stand in the middle of a room with the lights out, and close my eyes.  I suppose I’m more confrontational than I ever thought I was.  All I know is the fear doesn’t necessarily get weaker when I face it down repeatedly – but my ability to continue functioning through the fear gets stronger.

I suppose one guess would be that I don’t like being controlled by fear.   Care to offer your opinion?  Or confess your secret fears?  I can’t be the only one with a completely irrational fear of sharks, can I?

I was supposed to post a few nights ago, but didn’t because I didn’t have enough time to figure out how to put up a video clip in my post. So I decided to skip the video clips and just start getting some content back up for now.

I’m back from myriad road trips, and only a little worse for the wear. Hope everyone out there is doing well.

Tonight I was petting the cat, Essie. Selah was opening something she had just seen us open. Sara said “Selah, you’re a smart cookie.”

A minute later, Tessa comes over to me and tries to help pet the cat. “Essie is a smart cookie” she says. Sara and I smile, and I say “no, Essie’s not a smart cookie.”

Tessa says “Essie is a cracker.” Sara and I laugh too loud to correct her.

Watch this neat little video blast from the past as the Animaniacs take us on a quick tour of the world:

Oh, and go to this Google Map of Belgium to see where I was last week.

Sorry for the startling lack of content. I haven’t been sleeping much, so when that gets back to normal so will my posts. I’m traveling again a little this week, but hope for a chance to recover after that.

I’ve somewhat adjusted to the time-change, but other than that I’ve had no time this week.  I’m giving training, and taking care of regular business as well, and when travelling a lot of time is also taken up eating and driving and what-not.  Luckily I was able to get in a good 8 kilometre run with a friend tonight, through a forest even!  That was quite nice.  Now I still need to catch up on sleep…

Oh, and don’t expect much in the way of posts until Sunday or later.  Sorry…if you miss the posts, tell me why in the comments and I’ll muster up the energy to put up another post tomorrow. 

Posting has been light the last week, after a last-minute trip up to Virginia.  I’ll still have a full schedule for probably the rest of the month, so don’t expect daily posts.  I do plan to schedule a few good reads over the next week, though.

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Quick notes from my week:

Most exciting news: Apple’s big Showtime announcements hold great potential for the future, as well as some fun for now.

Most active community: My Dream App, where I’ve been hanging out the last two weeks while they unveiled the 24 finalists.  It’s been fun, and the American Idol-esque voting segment over the next several weeks ought to be even more fun!  I’m hoping to put up another post on this tomorrow.

On the home front:  Last week we started the balcony railing, the piece necessary to complete our loft (well, besides re-carpeting).  With the kitchen now (almost) completely functional, it’s time to finish up lots of little trim areas, as well as putting in the appliance garages.  Pictures will appear in a week or so, unless I convince Sara to put something up.